Bitching out

I don't know what gets into my head some days.
I have an injury, I can work around it but I opted for the easy way out tonight.
I've done that to much, sometimes legit reasons other times, I have found an excuse or let my mental apathy get the better of me.

I don't know why or what goes through my head, just that it does and it is 100% my biggest stumbling block.
I don't have the best skills in the world, skills can be worked on, injuries happen, that's the nature of the game.

Getting your head right and giving 100% is the hardest thing.
I mean how can I give 100% if I am scared that I am going to get hurt and need time off of work?
This goes through my head before we start, before I even get to the gym, am I going to get injured and in trouble with work?

I want to be a fighter, I want to fight in the ring, but I am my own worst enemy I defeat myself before I start.
I think I need to read up and talk about it with someone - to try and make a change so that I can actually develop the skills I desire.

Man up or bitch out that is the real question.

Is it even a question really?